By Millicent Senava Mannah
Let’s be honest most of our heartbreaks don’t come from what people do to us, but from what we expected them to do in the first place.
Ryan Reynolds puts it perfectly:
“Don’t expect anything from anyone at any time. Expectations are premeditated resentments. When you have expectations of people, you’re setting yourself up for disappointment.”
Let that sink in.
How many times have you thought you finally arrived at your destination, only to realize it was just a turntable?
How many times did you think you’d met “the one,” only to discover they were “the disappointment of your life”?
How many times have your closest friends turned into your greatest enemies?
Even parents, teachers, and colleagues, the people you counted on, have probably turned their backs on you at some point.
And yet, what do we do?
We keep handing out our hearts like free samples at a supermarket, and then act shocked when people don’t treat them with care.
We trust too much, expect too much, and then cry too much when reality slaps us in the face.
Here’s the hard truth:
You give people your heart, they might break it.
You give them your trust, they might disappoint you.
You give them your love, and they might love someone else.
Why?
Because we are human. And humans are unreliable, inconsistent, distracted, flawed, and sometimes just plain messy.
Radhanath Swami said:
“The more you expect from what you’re doing, the more your heart feels loneliness and emptiness.”
Shakespeare put it bluntly:
“Expectation is the root of all heartache.”
And Kushand Wizdom adds some cheeky advice:
“Don’t expect things to happen, it’s better to feel surprised than disappointed.”
The only person you should expect anything from is yourself.
The only expectations worth having are those you set for you.
As Terrell Owens wisely observed:
“If you align expectations with reality, you will never be disappointed.”
So here’s the secret:
There are two ways to be happy.
Either improve your reality — or lower your expectations.
Once you stop expecting people to behave a certain way, you set yourself free.
Sometimes we create our own heartbreaks by expecting too much from others.
Stop blaming people for disappointing you — blame yourself for expecting them to be perfect.
A Little Humor to Drive It Home
People will always surprise you — and not always in the good way.
Your best friend may forget your birthday but remember the name of their favorite TV character.
Your crush may like your photo but marry someone else.
Your coworker may promise to have your back, but instead takes your stapler.
And yet, here you are. Still standing. Still laughing.
So why not just lower your expectations to ground level?
If someone shows up, great. If not, at least you didn’t waste energy expecting it.
Call to Action: Set Yourself Free
This month, give yourself the gift of freedom:
Stop expecting people to read your mind.
Stop expecting everyone to be kind, grateful, or loyal.
Start focusing on what you can control, your choices, your reactions, your goals.
Be pleasantly surprised when people do right by you, but don’t set yourself up for heartbreak when they don’t.
The fewer expectations you have, the more room you make for joy, humor, and gratitude.
So here’s your homework:
Today, expect nothing. Just watch what happens.
You might just find yourself smiling, not because everyone met your expectations, but because you let go of them.
After all, as someone wisely said:
“No expectations, no disappointment.”
And that, my friend, is the secret to happiness.
